Click on this link if you want to see arguably the best footballer and manager impersonations that aren't on your television screen (especially if your name is Graham):
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=C2QEm028lKA
;)
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
What goes in...must come out.
Matthew 12:34 says Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
In other words, what goes into us is going to come out.
Maybe this is why I feel happier and much more upbeat singing along to worship music in my car. Instead of Meat Loaf.
Monday, 20 October 2008
ACTS new date
Apologies for any inconvenience but due to unforeseen circumstances, ACTS Open Mic Church will next happen on Monday 3rd November and NOT 27th October as scheduled.
Time and venue remain as the below post.
It will also feature Eddie the Zebra.
Hope to see you there.
ACTS Open Mic Church. Because church SHOULD be fun!:)
Time and venue remain as the below post.
It will also feature Eddie the Zebra.
Hope to see you there.
ACTS Open Mic Church. Because church SHOULD be fun!:)
Sunday, 12 October 2008
ACTS Open Mic Church
What: ACTS Open Mic Church
When: Mon 27th October, 7pm for 7.30 kickoff
Where: Yeadon Cricket Club (Yeadon High Street, behind the White Swan, higher up than Morrisons, follow signs for Leeds Bradford airport), LS19 7AA
FREE ENTRY. This is a church where only the bar staff want your money.
Featuring: Yeadon singer songwriter Dave Paterson, guest speaker Brenda Emms, plus 'Only God can do That' (open time of sharing) and a guest appearance from Goodie Smart. Get in touch to guarantee yourself a slot, but hope to see you there whether performing or not.
ACTS Open Mic Church. Because church SHOULD be fun!
When: Mon 27th October, 7pm for 7.30 kickoff
Where: Yeadon Cricket Club (Yeadon High Street, behind the White Swan, higher up than Morrisons, follow signs for Leeds Bradford airport), LS19 7AA
FREE ENTRY. This is a church where only the bar staff want your money.
Featuring: Yeadon singer songwriter Dave Paterson, guest speaker Brenda Emms, plus 'Only God can do That' (open time of sharing) and a guest appearance from Goodie Smart. Get in touch to guarantee yourself a slot, but hope to see you there whether performing or not.
ACTS Open Mic Church. Because church SHOULD be fun!
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
The Lonely Zebra
This is a children's story I wrote a few months ago. I hope you like.
The Lonely Zebra
Ziggy was one of many animals in the safari park. There were lots of lions, giraffes, and monkeys; in fact there were many of every animal, apart from Ziggy. He was a zebra, and he was the only one. Because he was the only one, his pen wasn’t the most popular part of the safari park. It seemed everyone wanted to see the monkeys climb or hear the lions roar, or maybe even feed the llamas, but nobody wanted to see a lonely zebra. Not only did he rarely have any visitors, but his pen wasn’t advertised very well either, so no one really knew where it was. Ziggy was very miserable. He thought no one cared about him.
Then one day, for no obvious reason at all, he had some visitors.
A group of schoolchildren appeared and looked into the pen. Excited to see them, Ziggy came running over to them to say hello.
‘This, children, is a zebra’ their teacher explained.
‘I want to see the monkeys climb!’ said a girl.
‘I want to hear the lions roar!’ said a boy.
‘Can we feed the llamas, Mr. Jones?’ asked another.
‘Mr. Jones, I need the toilet!’ said yet another.
Mr. Jones realised the children didn’t want to see Ziggy, so he and the children went away. This made Ziggy sad.
Ziggy got some visitors the next day too. Two ladies came and looked into the pen, but it was snowing that day, so when they saw his black stripes among the white snow they thought that he was part of the fence. They didn’t think there were any animals in the pen at all, so they walked past quickly. They only wanted to see the hippos anyway.
Ziggy even got some visitors the day after. The sun had dried up the snow, and a family of four stopped next to his pen. One of the boys noticed Ziggy.
‘Haha! That horse is wearing pyjamas!’ He laughed to his parents.
‘Don’t be silly, Jonathan!’ His Mother said. ‘That’s a zebra.’
‘I don’t care what it is. It looks stupid to me!’ He said.
His Mother continued to tell him off for being rude, even as they walked round the corner and out of sight, but the damage had been done. Ziggy was hurt.
After being ignored, mistaken for other things, and also laughed at, Ziggy was very upset-so upset in fact that he began to cry. Tears were running down his face, he was sniffling hard, and sobbing, all at the same time. ‘Nobody likes me! I’m so lonely! Help me, please! Anybody! I need a friend!’ he cried, thinking no one could hear him.
‘I am your friend’, someone said. This made Ziggy very scared.
‘Who-who are you?’ he said, looking all around him. ‘In fact, where are you?’
‘Don’t cry, Ziggy. I am God. I am your friend’, said the voice.
‘That’s nice of you to say’, Ziggy sniffed, ‘but I can’t see you. How can you be my friend if I can’t see you?’
‘Good question. Actually Ziggy, no one can see me’ said the voice. ‘But you can see things I have made.’
‘Really?’ Ziggy wasn’t sure whether to laugh at what the voice was saying, or keep crying. ‘Like what?’ he asked.
‘Well, the grass in your pen, the people you have seen and the other animals, even you, Ziggy!’ the voice replied.
‘Me? You made me? Whoever made me is a fool, because nobody likes me’, Ziggy said. ‘In fact, whoever made me can’t like me either, or I wouldn’t be so unhappy, so if you made me thanks for nothing!’ Ziggy had stopped crying now. He was actually quite angry at the voice.
‘Ziggy, please don’t be angry,’ the voice said. ‘I made you because I love you.’
‘You…lo…you love me?’ Ziggy asked. ‘Then why am I so unhappy? And why haven’t I met you before?’
‘Ziggy, please don’t worry’ the voice assured him. ‘You are unhappy because of the way people treat you, but that isn’t your fault. And you haven’t met me before because you never wanted to! I’ve always been here with you, watching over you, and I’ll always be with you.’
Ziggy was really surprised that there was an unseen voice who he had never met, who had always wanted to be his friend. This was a lot for Ziggy to take in. ‘Thank you, God’ he said. ‘I’m really happy that we are now friends. But why are people nasty to me, and why can’t they sometimes see me?’ he asked, scratching his head with his hoof.
‘A lot of people are horrible if they don’t understand something’, said God. ‘If they don’t understand something, they may be scared of it, so they sometimes make fun out of it to hide their fear.’
‘Oh, thanks for explaining, but I’m really not very scary’ said Ziggy. ‘And in fact there is this fence between us just in case I was scary.’
‘I know you’re not scary,’ said God. ‘But they don’t. And speaking of that fence, do you remember yesterday in the snow when those two ladies didn’t see you?’
Ziggy nodded.
‘They thought you were part of the fence, because your white stripes blended in with the white snow!’
‘Oooooh, I see’, said Ziggy. ‘Why have I got these stripes anyway? Why don’t the other animals here have stripes like me?’
‘Good question my friend,’ God replied. ‘I gave you those stripes to make you different. No one else has beautiful stripes like you. I didn’t put as much effort into making horses you know. No, I really made you special. In the wild, those stripes will hide you from all sorts of animals who want to hurt you. Yesterday proved that they can do that.’
‘Oh yeah! Thanks God! You really do love me. You are a wonderful friend. Next time I start to feel lonely or sad, or that no one likes me, I’m going to talk to you!’ said Ziggy, smiling for the first time in a long while.
‘I was hoping you would say that’ said God, and even though he couldn’t see him, Ziggy somehow knew that God was smiling back.
© Matt T Wright 2008
The Lonely Zebra
Ziggy was one of many animals in the safari park. There were lots of lions, giraffes, and monkeys; in fact there were many of every animal, apart from Ziggy. He was a zebra, and he was the only one. Because he was the only one, his pen wasn’t the most popular part of the safari park. It seemed everyone wanted to see the monkeys climb or hear the lions roar, or maybe even feed the llamas, but nobody wanted to see a lonely zebra. Not only did he rarely have any visitors, but his pen wasn’t advertised very well either, so no one really knew where it was. Ziggy was very miserable. He thought no one cared about him.
Then one day, for no obvious reason at all, he had some visitors.
A group of schoolchildren appeared and looked into the pen. Excited to see them, Ziggy came running over to them to say hello.
‘This, children, is a zebra’ their teacher explained.
‘I want to see the monkeys climb!’ said a girl.
‘I want to hear the lions roar!’ said a boy.
‘Can we feed the llamas, Mr. Jones?’ asked another.
‘Mr. Jones, I need the toilet!’ said yet another.
Mr. Jones realised the children didn’t want to see Ziggy, so he and the children went away. This made Ziggy sad.
Ziggy got some visitors the next day too. Two ladies came and looked into the pen, but it was snowing that day, so when they saw his black stripes among the white snow they thought that he was part of the fence. They didn’t think there were any animals in the pen at all, so they walked past quickly. They only wanted to see the hippos anyway.
Ziggy even got some visitors the day after. The sun had dried up the snow, and a family of four stopped next to his pen. One of the boys noticed Ziggy.
‘Haha! That horse is wearing pyjamas!’ He laughed to his parents.
‘Don’t be silly, Jonathan!’ His Mother said. ‘That’s a zebra.’
‘I don’t care what it is. It looks stupid to me!’ He said.
His Mother continued to tell him off for being rude, even as they walked round the corner and out of sight, but the damage had been done. Ziggy was hurt.
After being ignored, mistaken for other things, and also laughed at, Ziggy was very upset-so upset in fact that he began to cry. Tears were running down his face, he was sniffling hard, and sobbing, all at the same time. ‘Nobody likes me! I’m so lonely! Help me, please! Anybody! I need a friend!’ he cried, thinking no one could hear him.
‘I am your friend’, someone said. This made Ziggy very scared.
‘Who-who are you?’ he said, looking all around him. ‘In fact, where are you?’
‘Don’t cry, Ziggy. I am God. I am your friend’, said the voice.
‘That’s nice of you to say’, Ziggy sniffed, ‘but I can’t see you. How can you be my friend if I can’t see you?’
‘Good question. Actually Ziggy, no one can see me’ said the voice. ‘But you can see things I have made.’
‘Really?’ Ziggy wasn’t sure whether to laugh at what the voice was saying, or keep crying. ‘Like what?’ he asked.
‘Well, the grass in your pen, the people you have seen and the other animals, even you, Ziggy!’ the voice replied.
‘Me? You made me? Whoever made me is a fool, because nobody likes me’, Ziggy said. ‘In fact, whoever made me can’t like me either, or I wouldn’t be so unhappy, so if you made me thanks for nothing!’ Ziggy had stopped crying now. He was actually quite angry at the voice.
‘Ziggy, please don’t be angry,’ the voice said. ‘I made you because I love you.’
‘You…lo…you love me?’ Ziggy asked. ‘Then why am I so unhappy? And why haven’t I met you before?’
‘Ziggy, please don’t worry’ the voice assured him. ‘You are unhappy because of the way people treat you, but that isn’t your fault. And you haven’t met me before because you never wanted to! I’ve always been here with you, watching over you, and I’ll always be with you.’
Ziggy was really surprised that there was an unseen voice who he had never met, who had always wanted to be his friend. This was a lot for Ziggy to take in. ‘Thank you, God’ he said. ‘I’m really happy that we are now friends. But why are people nasty to me, and why can’t they sometimes see me?’ he asked, scratching his head with his hoof.
‘A lot of people are horrible if they don’t understand something’, said God. ‘If they don’t understand something, they may be scared of it, so they sometimes make fun out of it to hide their fear.’
‘Oh, thanks for explaining, but I’m really not very scary’ said Ziggy. ‘And in fact there is this fence between us just in case I was scary.’
‘I know you’re not scary,’ said God. ‘But they don’t. And speaking of that fence, do you remember yesterday in the snow when those two ladies didn’t see you?’
Ziggy nodded.
‘They thought you were part of the fence, because your white stripes blended in with the white snow!’
‘Oooooh, I see’, said Ziggy. ‘Why have I got these stripes anyway? Why don’t the other animals here have stripes like me?’
‘Good question my friend,’ God replied. ‘I gave you those stripes to make you different. No one else has beautiful stripes like you. I didn’t put as much effort into making horses you know. No, I really made you special. In the wild, those stripes will hide you from all sorts of animals who want to hurt you. Yesterday proved that they can do that.’
‘Oh yeah! Thanks God! You really do love me. You are a wonderful friend. Next time I start to feel lonely or sad, or that no one likes me, I’m going to talk to you!’ said Ziggy, smiling for the first time in a long while.
‘I was hoping you would say that’ said God, and even though he couldn’t see him, Ziggy somehow knew that God was smiling back.
© Matt T Wright 2008
I was walking the dog earlier and wrestling with some of the big questions. These are the ones I couldn't work up any kind of answer to:
What is the point of...
-Wasps?
-Parma Violets?
-Fake meat?
-Right Said Fred tribute acts?
-Keith Chegwin?
That's all for now. As you can see, there's a lot to be mused upon.
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