Quality Entertainment

Two nights ago was my final night at Cliff College, and the last night of the 2008 academic year. Some people were away, and others were doing various other things, but for those who wanted to come, there was an open mic event in the common room. It wasn't well-advertised and nor was it incredibly well-planned (primarily because I mislaid the sign-up sheet), but it was a very memorable and enjoyable evening and I'm very glad it happened.

I started the night off by playing some Johnny Cash music as people walked in. And why not. Much fun was had, and the mood was very light-hearted. There were some quality musical acts from the Cliff residents who tend to perform at such things, including some country and western material, and the mood became more spiritual after some Holy Spirit-inspired creative writing was read. Then there was a very inspirational time where one close friend got up and rapped, making it up on the spot. He rapped about his love for Jesus, and what he meant to him. After that, the entire room became quiet, and we laid hands on and prayed for him. It would've felt somehow inappropriate to go straight back into doing funny stuff (to me at least) and so a friend and I played another Johnny track through my laptop (I Was There When It Happened, originally by Davis/Jones). It was appropriate because it was true for every person present, i.e. Jesus saved us.

Soon after this, the fifth(!) Johnny song of the evening was performed. They were all done in a comedic way, hardly any were rehearsed and most involved a kazoo, but it was they above all that both kept the night flowing and kept the mood bouyant. The success of any open mic is entirely dependent on the attitudes of those who attend, so I'm glad that most who came seemed like they wanted to be there and enjoy it. As the night ended it seemed only fitting to play some more of Johnny's music. So basically, what was intended to be an open mic, consisting of anything those who came wanted it to, turned into something of a country and western appreciation/Johnny Cash tribute night, with God at work both in some of that, and also in between. Good times!

This is why I've decided a Johnny Cash puppet would be an awesome thing. I'm just imagining the audiences he could entertain, both via Johnny's secular tunes, which are loved by many of all ages, and also in the Christian songs he's sung, some of which are very well-known and others not, but all of which contain gospel truth and have an evangelistic potential that cannot be underestimated. So Dad, if you're reading this, because you're more creative than I...you get the picture;)

Like Sheep-a poem

Like Sheep

A herd of sheep are journeying up a Derbyshire hill
Between fields they are relocated
The shepherd blows a high-pitched whistle
As they embark on their ascent

Some stoop to eat the grass;
The same grass they can find in their new home
Others are looking at the cars that
Their adventure has forced to a standstill
Such sheep stop and others, oblivious, run into them
Some straggle, almost lost at the rear
But for the shepherd’s shout to persevere
Others charge with no apparent regard to destination
And apparently, no fear
The rest continue to trudge along
Unaware of much save the voice that says Press on!

Sitting here as the sun falls
And the sheep move out of sight
I cannot help but wonder
Which one I am

He who dares...

Only God will remove me, says Robert Mugabe. Though it's hard to know, it probably wouldn't be inaccurate to think that this was said in a mocking way.

Well, however it was said, watch this space folks.

It's going to happen!!!

And God will have His way in Zimbabwe in Jesus name.

The Tournament

Today has been an awesome day. The Cliff College Cougars football team was due to play against another college, but because the other team couldn't make it, we had a five-a-side tournament made up of four teams within college instead. The Cougars divided themselves into an English team and an international team, and the girls formed a team (the Lionesses, keeping in with the cat theme). Although today was to be my last match for the Cougars, it made sense for me to play with the Postgraduate Panthers, being as I've played with them more than the Cougars this year, and also because we needed another team in the tournament. Each team was to play against each other once, and then have a final couple of games to determine who finished first, second, third or fourth.

We started with a 6-0 victory over the girls, which felt especially good because, after three games and three losses against the Cougars, it was our first victory ever. We then drew 0-0 with the International Cougars, before beating the English Cougars 3-0. We knew we'd played well because we just kept fighting and creating and taking chances whenever we could, and fortunately this meant we hadn't conceded any goals either. An opportunistic couple of early goals gave us an early lead but we kept cool heads and defended well. Admittedly the Cougars had injury problems and weren't at full strength, but we were glad to finally have beaten them. This put us in the battle for first and second place, two points ahead of the International Cougars, our rivals for that match. The English Cougars had just finished third, having beaten the Lionesses. Yet again, we and the International Cougars cancelled each other out. We all battled really hard, but couldn't break each other down. This led to a penalty shoot-out to determine the winners which, after a bit of nail-bitingly close moments, we won, with our goalkeeper scoring his penalty...Wearing slippers!

The atmosphere was great, people from within the college came down to cheer everyone on, and God's love was evident in that there were no real incidents, and no cards had to be brandished. If only we'd fought today for the trophy that the Cougars will receive at graduation, instead of the last time we played them!

Thank you Lord for some great and fun footballing memories at Cliff College, and to all who have ever played for or supported the Postgraduate Panthers this year.

I'll sign off with our team anthem:

All hail the lamb enthroned on high
His praise shall be our battle cry
He reigns victorious, forever glorious
His name is Jesus, he is the Lord!

© 1987 Kingsway's Thankyou Music

Hallelujah amen!:)

New poem: 'Searching for Love'

I don't like rhyming poetry. That is, I don't like writing rhyming poetry. I find it too predictable, also so easy to get wrong and so hard to do well. But that is how, despite attempts to the contrary, this poem came about. This is a brief snippet of the last few years of my life. I think there's a message here, though I'm not too happy with it if I'm honest. Comments welcome(!).

Searching for Love (and finding it among brackets)

Holes in my face to be with a woman
(Who said she loved me)
Marks on my skin for a musician
(Who didn’t love me)

Poets and paintings tried to convey it
(but I couldn’t feel it through their work)
I wore it in Claret and Blue form
(but no one else loved my shirt)

It wasn’t in the biscuits I ate
(though they gave me power)
It wasn’t in the roses I bought
(nor does it smell like flowers)

My cat’s head butt contained it
It was in a white flag from my sister
Her eyes over the phone displayed it
(And it rules my thoughts when I miss her)

Then I saw open arms
And a face both red and pale,
Found all I needed on planks of wood
(Realising I’d had it nailed)

Ressurrected poem

I was looking through some old files and found the following poem, which I wrote when I was at uni. On my last trip to Manchester Piccadilly train station I realised it was no longer accurate, as I'd got my 20p ready in order to use the loo, only to find out it now costs 30p! Tut tut. Labour government.


Twenty Pence Pieces

Not quite round, thought with smooth corners
A welcome relief at station Piccadilly
My shiny little comfort, a blast of hot water
Bubblegum, some clean lingerie

Knighthood on the Cards?

I know what you're asking yourself. And believe me, I'm doing the same thing.

Just when are the Chuckle Brothers going to be knighted?

Seriously. They've been bringing laughter and joy to millions on a regular basis since the mid 1980s, and because they don't seem to age, they'll probably be going for some time yet. After an entire lifetime in the entertainment industry in various capacities, including a singing career and hosting their own game show, their live theatre shows still sell out, their TV show 'Chucklevision' is one of the most popular shows on BBC I-player (I imagine), and they are still going strong.

Also, according to their website (http://www.thechucklebrothersontour.co.uk/), a Chuckle biography is going to be hitting a bookstore near you in a matter of weeks. How she's overlooked them for so long is anybody's guess, but let's hope her Majesty gives this a read, as then she'll be able to give good old Paul and (especially) Barry the honours they deserve.
:)

Interviews

During the course of my (ongoing) dissertation research I've had the privilege of interviewing, among others, Professor John Drane and Bishop John Finney. These are their views on open mic church :

It raises questions like “what do I think Jesus was up to?” He seemed to hear from all sorts of people and actually create spaces where people could contribute and be part of the journey together. So, for me, this is what I think church should be like. -Professor John Drane

Jesus was always a listener; always
able to toss the ball back into other people’s courts, always able to make
something worthwhile out of what could be a very straightforward
comment by somebody else. So he was able to take if you like the ‘open
mic’, which he himself was there for-I mean anybody could say anything
to Jesus, so in a way he did not have a microphone but he had an open ear, which may be more important than an open mic. -Bishop John Finney

Although I prefer Drane's view for obvious reasons, Finney's got me thinking. This may sound obvious but I feel a need to say it all the same: Though as Christians we have a gospel to proclaim and are called to do so, we must never forget that those we are trying to reach are in a completely different situation to ourselves, with each person differing from the next, in many ways and sometimes dramatically. They all have different views, beliefs, and experiences, and they will bring every one into any spiritual conversation we have with them. We must be ready to listen. In the words of my good friend Ron Willoughby, friends listen to friends, therefore they do not ignore or rashly brush aside each other's views. At many open mic events I've been to, some, particularly poets, haven't seemed to have too much respect for other artist's material. This is evidenced either by their leaving as soon as they've performed their poetry, or by talking loudly when other people are at the mic. This is both rude and wrong, for what right have they got to expect to be listened to if they aren't prepared to do that themselves? Therefore, both out of common courtesy but also following the example set by Jesus, Christians must be prepared to listen. If we don't, why should we expect anyone to listen to us?

Love it or loathe it, the hymn 'Go, Tell it on the Mountain' (verse two) says this:

He reached out and touched them, the blind, the deaf, the lame;
He spoke and listened gladly to anyone who came

So...go! And tell it on the mountain, or the supermarket, or open mic church, or whilst walking your dog, or going wherever you go and doing whatever you do. But remember also to listen!
:)

Things I have learned this past week:

-Considering I've lived here for several years now, I really don't know Leeds very well at all

-In the right context, puppet evangelism can be just as effective crouched down on knees and hiding behind a table on its side with a zebra playing Peter the apostle fishing with a rod made out of a cocktail stick and string *pauses for air* as it can be using a proper stage complete with chair, script and person puppet

-Travis died in Blake's Seven. Much to my dismay

-Ecclesiastes 4:12 inspired me, with two close Christian friends, that we must be accountable to each other, constantly praying for each other, and praying with each other. Because a cord of three strands is not quickly broken, and God is the greatest weaver

-Traffic lights is an AWESOME game, as is golf

-Moses the shepherd was a maintenance pastor. Moses the prophet had come into his calling, but until he did, all he was doing was keeping things ticking over. His calling, like ours, was useless until he responded to it

-The sun really does want to shine in Britain

-A soldier without one piece of armour may as well not go into battle. Think Boromir in The Fellowship of the Ring, where tries to defend Merry and Pippin without his shield and dies. As Christians, we need to put on the armour of God-all of it, every single day

-The person I spent today with really makes me :)

-I am truly blessed, as are all who receive the free gift of Jesus' love

The Greatest Thing

Introducing the greatest invention since hand dryers were invented...the Dyson Airblade! I used one of these for the first time recently and knew I had to blog about it, so here is a little info about the life-changing experience that ensued.

After washing my hands, I went to look for the dryers. Couldn't see any, so I looked for hand towels. Couldn't see any of those either. Then I heard what sounded like a dryer coming from a few yards away, and I looked and saw a chap placing his hands into what looked like a mini folded-down ironing board attached to the wall. Gotta be worth a go, I thought. So over I went, dripping hands and all, and placed them at the mercy of the strange-looking device. The experience only lasted a few seconds. That's all it needed to. For the air came fast-so fast in fact that I feared some skin was going to come off. I was so pleasantly surprised that I began to chuckle with delight, and, upon turning my head to the right, the man next to me was doing the same thing. It's not often that the use of a hand dryer can generate both laughter but also conversation, but both were shared during that moment, and the good people at Dyson had unknowingly produced a brilliant conversation starter. The exchange with the man I met was one of those welcome friendly conversations we don't tend to have so much in Britain nowadays, so it was very welcome.


And you know what I realised, upon removing my hands from the device? Unlike when using many other dryers, my hands were actually dry! Not only this, but water had not had chance to run all the way down my wrists and annoyingly trickle beneath my sleeves. Oh no. Because the people at Dyson don't put them high up, but cleverly put them at a height that is both intelligently-positioned and also convenient to reach.

The Dyson Airblade is here to stay folks. Wishing you as pleasurable experience as mine was. You won't want to go back to the machines of yesteryear I can assure you!;)

I AM- a poem

I don't think this poem is quite the finished article yet but I'd appreciate constructive comments on it please. Thanks.

I AM

You are my monosodium glutamate
The second sugar in my café latte
Author of unconscious adventure.
You are the cherry on a Bakewell I didn’t ask for
The skimmed milk to my calcium deficiency
Unexpected breakfast in bed.
You are the greatest autobiography
A cheque that will never bounce
Deep Heat on a football wound.
You are a satnav I will never want to punch
A burglar alarm that snares the thief,
An internal alarm clock.
You are the quill that penned the greatest play
A fist in the face of the baddies in my life,
The greatest marriage councillor.
You turn my spiders into flies and cut me loose
From their web made out of fear and glue
You are the everything.
You are all that you say you are
You are all I could understand and the sequel to that
You are God
You are love
And I am yours.

So long, Gareth...

I am an Aston Villa fan. For the last fifteen years, ever since I've been into football, Villa have been my team. And it's been a rough ride! Always one of the biggest clubs in the Premiership and with one of the most successful histories but never with quite enough talent to break into the top four or five, it's been entertaining supporting them to say the least. I've seen them reach several finals and lift two cups (the league cup, both in 1993/4 and in 1996), but as for the league itself...I've seen them go from escaping relegation by a single point to finishing sixth, with just above midtable seeming to be the average place.

I've seen great players come and go, the most prominents of my heroes being Mark Bosnich, Dean Saunders, Gareth Southgate, Paul Merson, and then of course Gareth Barry. Of course Gareth Barry. Gareth Barry who has been at the club for ELEVEN(!) years, and learned from Southgate and the others, becoming a greater play perhaps now than the man himself ever was. Gareth Barry who emerged as a left-sided defender or centre-back, who later went on to play on the left wing or even in central midfield where he plays at present-arguably his strongest position. Gareth Barry who was overlooked on the England front for years, but is now an England regular. Gareth Barry who is the inspirational Villa captain, a leader who is helping Martin O'Neill take us to greater things. Gareth Barry who every Villa fan holds in very high regard, for we know how much he has done for our team. Gareth Barry who, it turns out, Liverpool are persistently keen to sign.

I've also seen managers come and go, including Ron Atkinson, Graham Taylor and David O'Leary (a group I like to call 'The Incompetents') and then there's Brian Little and John Gregory, both of whom did wonders for the club but never quite seemed to establish us as the side every Villa fan believes we can be. Then Martin O'Neill came along. He was the man who would start the revolution that had been long overdue, and I daresay he'll follow it through to completion too. Doug Ellis left as chairman also, taking his stranglehold on the club's finances with him. The new chairman, Randy Lerner, is a billionaire, who trusts O'Neill, which helps given that players cost so much these days. Talk of an £80million war chest to spend this summer is good news, and Villa's finishing sixth this year (a dramatic imporvement on the 11th and 16th of the last two seasons) is definitely something which O'Neill seeks to build on.

O'Neill is a persuasive man; a great, hard-working manager whose track record speaks for itself (when he was Leicester manager they always beat Villa, going into cup success, and he established Celtic as the greatest team in Scotland, ending many years of Rangers' dominance). He usually gets who he wants, and he also knows how to get the best out of players. It's no coincidence that Barry is now an England regular, after O'Neill made Barry captain and helped him significantly improve his game. O'Neill will, I believe, make some great signings this summer (come on Henry, you know you want to come to Villa Park and break Alan Shearer's goalscoring record) and Villa will continue to threaten the big four until at last we become one of them and even (why not?) begin to challenge for the league...but it seems increasingly likely that all this will happen without Gareth Barry. O'Neill is willing to dramatically break the Villa wage structure to keep him, and if we win the Intertoto Cup this coming year then he will be playing the European football he so desperately craves anyway. He doesn't need that to get into the England team though or he wouldn't be in it now. Eleven years is an extraordinarily length of time for a player to remain at one club, so I can't really begrudge him leaving or accuse him of being unloyal, but I guess I just wish he would make his mind up, as this saga has been going on too long for all those concerned.

Thank you, Gareth Barry, for the last eleven years. They've been enjoyable and entertaining, and you've played a big part in the great team Villa are now-even computer games are recognising that Villa are no longer pants but can actually play football!

But if you are going to go, please just get on with it and put me and every other Villa fan out of our misery. We can only hold our breath so long.